Take Me As I Am

I have observed of myself that I have a tendency to hide or even feel ashamed of certain aspects of myself. So at this moment I would like to make a promise to be more true to myself. No longer will I hide my tastes in music, TV, movies or beliefs out of fear that I will not be accepted. Current and potential friends and acquaintances do not need to like or believe the same things that I do but they need to accept and not berate me for what I like and believe. I of course, in return will extend the same courtesy. So yes, I like nu metal, I like a pop or country song or two. I LOVE Twilight and Jersey Shore. I am overly liberal on some issues and conservative on others but moderate on most. Deal with it!

New Years Resolution

I have not made new years resolutions in the past (or at the very least, I do not remember making them) but this year I have decided to make one.

I am staying away from the health and weight loss resolutions, I don't know why, I just don't feel right about those. This year my resolution has to do with people.

Over the last year I have discovered that I have some serious social problems. While I seem to have no problem making acquaintances, I have not really made any close friends in ages(besides my friend Michelle). This year, my resolution is to make a new friend.

This may sound like an easy resolution to some of you, but it isn't for me. I do not seem to make friends easily. For one, I am socially awkward and I do feel that many people see my as a weirdo. Second, when I do meet someone I would really like to be friends with, I start to feel intimidated by them. I am a little insecure about myself and I am constantly feeling rejected and that no one likes me.

But this year I want to stop feeling that way and make a new friend or two. If anyone has any advice whether personal (stuff you have observed about me) or general, please feel free to communicate it to me. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Office Contract Workers and The Concept Of Hegemony.

A major topic within many American communities now days is the topic of Health Care. I feel we are focusing way too much on the broad aspect on health care and I am wondering if our politicians are looking into why so many working adults do not have health care. There are a variety of reasons, some considered valid and some considered wrong (subjective of course) but there is one business practice that I feel is one of the wrong reasons; that is the practice of large lucrative companies that hire long term contract employees (basically permanent temps.

There is no doubt that the reason for this practice is to avoid paying for benefits (such as health care) or sick pay and can save a company thousands of dollars. This may be fine for smaller companies that could not afford to lose so much; but what about the larger companies whose CEO's are bringing in record profits of multi-million dollars? The argument largely relies on the idea of consent. Most managers will remind you that you agreed to this and they may even deliver you the infamous line of "If you don't like it here, then go work somewhere else."

However as I normally believe that nothing in this world is that simple and here is something to think about. That is the idea of hegemony. The dictionary defines hegemony as simply influence or authority over others, however hegemony mainly means domination or slavery by consent. The slaves or people being dominated consent to being enslaved because they know that their choices are limited.

So as far as office contract workers go, they agree to the contract because their choices are limited; especially in this economy, one most likely does not have the resources to drop everything and find another job. These companies know this and use this to hire contract employees without paying them benefits. Of course now days people every where who are employed should be thankful to have a job; but I still feel it is wrong for companies to take advantage of the average worker in this fashion.

Tiffannies Tips for the Moderate Voter

On Tuesday November 2nd, we will be voting for our governors, senators, representatives and other branches of local government. Why should we vote in the mid-term elections? Because the people up for office in the mid-term elections affect our daily lives way more than the president ever will. As our country becomes more polarized by the empty kettle Democrats and Republicans, it can be difficult for the dedicated moderates to keep from choosing sides and staying neutral. Here are a few things I practice and keep in mind to stay level headed and to try and vote responsibly.

Tip #1Know your values

Before figuring out who you want to vote for you first need to think of which political issues are most important to you and which don't seem like that big of a deal to you. Knowing where you stand on issues and the ones that are important to you are especially critical for a moderate who may agree with one issue on the candidates platform but disagree on another issue with the same candidate.

Tip #2:Vote for people, not parties.

I realize this is easier said than done, however if you look at each candidate individually you will find that not every candidate agrees with their party on every single issue. Also, each Candidate has a back story which can help you identify where they are coming from and how they came to be where they are today.

Tip #3:Do your research
Of course looking for the right candidate shouldn't feel like studying for a mid-term exam (no pun intended), but there are little things you can do in your spare time to educate yourself on your candidates. I personally find reading the candidates platforms and backgrounds on their personal website helpful. If you are able to talk to some of your candidates personally just to get a feel for them. Also watching interviews and debates can also be helpful to figure out where your candidates stand.

Tip #4:Ignore Political Commercials

TV commercials are the worst place to get information on the running candidates. Even the commercials that aren't all about slandering the other candidate tend to be exaggerated and lacking of crucial information. If possible, go as far as to walk away from the TV or at least press the mute button when these commercials are on because even looking at them can slightly askew your view. Also another thing to keep in mind, not all of these commercials are endorsed by a candidate; various lobby and interest groups also create TV commercials.

Tip #5:Disregard political buzzwords

Just because your so-called friend may call you a fascist for leaning a little to the conservative side or a bleeding heart, socialist, communist Marxist for leaning towards the liberal side doesn't mean you should take it to heart or even take it as an insult. These are emotionally charged buzzwords to make you feel guilty for being who you are. Many people who use these words may not even know what they really mean. Think about it, how many of your acquaintances that use the term "Marxist" have ever read Karl Marx? Probably not many. I find that most people who use this vocab on a regular basis are less interested in politics and more like drama or like to fight and find that politics are an easy outlet for that. A level headed Conservative, Liberal or Moderate will not use insults and know how to agree to disagree.

Tip #6:It's OKAY to vote for Independent candidates

My biggest political pet peeve (other than the name calling) is when someone tells me that if I vote for the Independent candidate, then I am wasting my vote. It is true that they are less likely to win, however one of the main reasons why that is true is because people have been told they are wasting their vote if they vote for independents. By all means, if both the major party candidates seem like pawns and you actually like an Independent candidate, take a stand and give them your vote. Maybe then more people will take a stand and vote for who they want and not who they are told to vote for.

Despite popular belief that Moderates are indecisive and flaky, we know the truth. We want level headed solutions and we want to take the good ideas from both of our nations political sides to make something even better. We realize that opinions are subjective and we try our best to respect the opinions that differ from our own. I feel that we need to be just as present in the voting booths as our party member counterparts.

Pop Music

I like to watch rock music videos on youtube and I admit, I also like reading the comments that people post on these videos. Even though most of the comments are left by empty kettles, I really do believe it shows how we sometimes live inside of our own little boxes and fail to respect and understand the likes and dislikes of other.

In particular I keep seeing the "metal militia" and the "Rock Nation" calling for rock fans to post insults on various pop stars( i.e. Justin Beiber) videos on certain dates. I fail to understand what this accomplishes. For generations there has been some sort of pop scene and I am pretty sure there will be for many more generations; and you know, that is alright by me. People should be able to like what they want to like when it comes to music.

Bashing another for their taste in music is another form of unjust intolerance in my opinion. Difference in musical tastes is one of the great things that makes us all unique.

The Lost Art of Friendly Disagreement.

It is a firm belief of mine that as Americans (I can't speak for the rest of the world) we are becoming more divided. I am not focusing on politics, just in general. One thing that makes me believe this is that it seems like for the most part, people try to avoid any kind of conflict. I think that many people have been lead to believe that conflict is for people who don't like each other. So when many of us disagree with our acquaintances, we tend to hold it inside and let it stew. I believe this has helped us become somewhat of a passive aggressive nation, which helps to divide people more because by the time a person does come out with what they are upset about (usually after making many semi-direct snide comments), the disagreement is worse than the original.

Occasional conflict (friendly fire) can be essential to maintaining a friendship or acquaintanceship. If one keeps their comments neutral while reassuring the other person that disagreeing with them doesn't mean they don't like them, friendly conflict can help a relationship grow by establishing openness, honesty and trust. I see avoidance tactics by people which includes ignoring comments and trying to change the subject; and personally, if they disagree with me or think I am saying something stupid, I would rather them tell me than keep quiet. People may think they are keeping things to themselves when avoiding uncomfortable disagreements, but often times they are showing some signs of the disagreement in their facial expressions and body language and often times, remaining silent can be a bigger snub than just saying something.

So in my opinion, it is better to just go ahead and disagree. If you are prone to spouting angry nonsense when disagreeing, just choose words carefully or take a breather before you say something. But don't let it sit and potentially grow into something bigger.

Finding My Identity

I have been kind of on a down spiral lately, just kind of bored with life at the moment. I am usually, not a positive person but a person that believes that things work themselves out in the end so I am sure it will pass but for now as of lately I just feel as if I am not going anywhere and I am not growing as a person. I kind of feel as if I am hiding behind other people and have lost my own identity. In the recent past I have had a lot of people refer to me by my identities of mother or wife and I love being a mother and a wife but it would be nice to be known for my own identity as well.

I have had a few small accomplishments. I had a poem published in the book "You Are Not Alone" put together by Andrea Roe. The last stanza of the poem was even put on the back of the book.

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Alone-Companionship/dp/1412096170

I had two tarot spreads I created published in the 2005 tarot lovers calendar and one in the 2007 calendar. I have also had a story of the adult nature published in bareback magazine.

I think maybe it's because next month I am turning 30 and my clock is starting to tick why I am feeling this way. I am working on making something of myself. I am going to school and I am taking voice lessons that I hope to do something with some day. I have a bad habit of wanting immediate results and i just need to be patient.

Wish me luck.