The Lost Art of Friendly Disagreement.

It is a firm belief of mine that as Americans (I can't speak for the rest of the world) we are becoming more divided. I am not focusing on politics, just in general. One thing that makes me believe this is that it seems like for the most part, people try to avoid any kind of conflict. I think that many people have been lead to believe that conflict is for people who don't like each other. So when many of us disagree with our acquaintances, we tend to hold it inside and let it stew. I believe this has helped us become somewhat of a passive aggressive nation, which helps to divide people more because by the time a person does come out with what they are upset about (usually after making many semi-direct snide comments), the disagreement is worse than the original.

Occasional conflict (friendly fire) can be essential to maintaining a friendship or acquaintanceship. If one keeps their comments neutral while reassuring the other person that disagreeing with them doesn't mean they don't like them, friendly conflict can help a relationship grow by establishing openness, honesty and trust. I see avoidance tactics by people which includes ignoring comments and trying to change the subject; and personally, if they disagree with me or think I am saying something stupid, I would rather them tell me than keep quiet. People may think they are keeping things to themselves when avoiding uncomfortable disagreements, but often times they are showing some signs of the disagreement in their facial expressions and body language and often times, remaining silent can be a bigger snub than just saying something.

So in my opinion, it is better to just go ahead and disagree. If you are prone to spouting angry nonsense when disagreeing, just choose words carefully or take a breather before you say something. But don't let it sit and potentially grow into something bigger.

Finding My Identity

I have been kind of on a down spiral lately, just kind of bored with life at the moment. I am usually, not a positive person but a person that believes that things work themselves out in the end so I am sure it will pass but for now as of lately I just feel as if I am not going anywhere and I am not growing as a person. I kind of feel as if I am hiding behind other people and have lost my own identity. In the recent past I have had a lot of people refer to me by my identities of mother or wife and I love being a mother and a wife but it would be nice to be known for my own identity as well.

I have had a few small accomplishments. I had a poem published in the book "You Are Not Alone" put together by Andrea Roe. The last stanza of the poem was even put on the back of the book.

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Alone-Companionship/dp/1412096170

I had two tarot spreads I created published in the 2005 tarot lovers calendar and one in the 2007 calendar. I have also had a story of the adult nature published in bareback magazine.

I think maybe it's because next month I am turning 30 and my clock is starting to tick why I am feeling this way. I am working on making something of myself. I am going to school and I am taking voice lessons that I hope to do something with some day. I have a bad habit of wanting immediate results and i just need to be patient.

Wish me luck.