To all my large sistas and brothas...this blog is for you!

I am a fat girl. On one of my interpersonal communication journals I pointed that out, my teacher crossed it out and wrote "large mammal". Well I am sorry, I don't need to sugar coat things like that, I am what I am.

Of course I hear a lot of derogatory names, jokes, etc aimed at fat people and normally I don't get offended, but every once in awhile something happens where I do get offended and today in my creative writing class was one of those days.

Our teacher showed us the video "Window Seat" by Erykah Badu
where Erykah removes all her clothing on a public street. Our teacher pointed out that he likes the fact that Erykah is a real woman with a voluptuous back and and womanly hips. Suddenly people began to disagree with him saying they could see her "fat rolls" jiggling and it was gross. Afterwards we were looking at the people of wal-mart website and of course the same people would make comments every time a picture of a fat person was displayed, even if they weren't wearing anything too atrocious.

I think I was offended because first of all, Erykah Badu is thick surely but not fat and I feel that if people think she is disgusting then what does that say about me? Secondly, it seems to me that unless a fat person is covered completly from head to toe in long pants and sweaters, then people disapprove of us being in public. Granted some of these people on the people of wal-mart website were wearing clothes that NO ONE should be wearing inside of a public store, some of the pics simply showed girls wearing a tank top. Im sorry people, but when it's hot out, hell yeah I am going to wear a tank top. I don't really care if you find my fat arms disgusting.

In class I made some joking comments about how I was going to wear something risque to the next class and acted of course like I was not that offended because I didn't want to seem like I am uncool or overly sensitive (even though I totally am).

Coincidentally, after school I went to my jobs main office to attend a harassment and diversity class that is required for us to take annually. After this class I realized that I was not too off base for feeling offended. Now I will be one of the first ones to say that some people get too offended by things and take things to extremes to resolve. I have no problems with people not being attracted to fat people and having that opinion is fine, but I think that making extensive comments about how disgusting fat people are is crossing the line.

I think that overweight people are a group of people that many people in our society have been taught that it's ok to make fun of because we made ourselves that way and because we are not aesthetically pleasing on the eye. I admit that I did things to make myself that way but I did not wake up one day and decide I was going to be fat. I have a food addiction, and like any addiction I take it one day at a time. Until I am able to fully manage my addiction and become healthy again, I still have the right to fashionable clothes, going to the beach or pool in my swimsuit and being out in public without being harassed.

If having to look at my fatness is ruining your perfect day in your perfect world you have two choices; look the other way or kiss my big fat juicy ass!

I Am Socially Inept

I am awkward around people which I feel damages any would be friendships with new people that I meet. This especially happens at all the local music shows that I attend. I can never seem to think of anything to talk about and I just end up feeling like a dumbass and an outcast. I also think some of it has to do with feeling like I am in my husbands shadow which is probably a whole different blog!

So to all those who see me at shows and just out and about, if I have made you feel wierd about being around me I am sorry. I definatly would like to get to know you all better but have a hard doing so. People being pushy with me about talking or doing stuff would probably help out a lot.

Tired of the empty kettles.

Once I heard someone say that it is always the empty kettles that bang the loudest; meaning that it's always the people that have no clue what they are talking about that people seem to hear the most. One of the places this seems to happen the most is when people discuss politics. It seems to me that more and more people are choosing sides, confusing opinions with facts and carrying a "you're either with me or against me" attitude. As a moderate, this is really sad to me. I have lost friends on both sides of the spectrum because of this and I see our country becoming divided more and more everyday and it breaks my heart. In many of these cases, people are not even fighting about the issues, it's mindless "Conservatives are nazi's and they suck" or "Liberals are bleeding heart douchebags" and there is no rhyme or reason to any of this. I think both conservatives and liberal groups have good ideas and contribute to this country and I don't think we could make it without either side.

Granted I know this isn't true for all left and right wingers. I completly respect the conservatives and liberals that can state their opinion and listen to opposing opinions without resorting to name calling and fighting. However from what I am experiencing, these sensible people are becoming less heard because of the empty kettles.

No matter what your political affiliation is, we all still live in this country together and I feel that if we keep dividing ourselves, we will destroy ourselves long before any terrorists or outsiders do.

"Help Mate"

One of my favorite shows currently is the show wife swap (and no I am not ashamed of it). The premise of this show is that they take 2 families and trade the wives (and sometimes the husbands) for two weeks. Each wife writes a manual for the new wife and the first week the wife has to follow the rules of the manual. During the second week the wife gets to make her own rules. The idea is to switch two completly different families so that each families learn something from the experience (or create a lot of drama which is good for TV).

So from watching this show, I have witnessed an idea that is very new and bewildering to me. Some of the freaky religious families (excuse my persuasive language) believe in this idea where the man is the supreme head of the household and the wife is his "help mate". Now of course the concept of the patriarchal family system isn't new or bewildering to me, it's the word "help mate" that turns me into a fem-nazi until the end of the show.

When I think of a "help mate" the last thing that comes to mind is a wife. I think of a maid, a servant, or a slave. Someone who is meant to help the man, not neccesarily for him to love and to share equality with. Seriously ladies, did our mothers and grandmothers fight for womens rights and burn their bras to be a mans "help mate". No, I don't think so.

Because Alison Told Me Too

My best friend Alison said my next blog should be about how much she loves me. So here we go!

Alison and I met in the summertime when we were ten years old. I lived on the ground floor apartment (complete with patio) and she lived in the apartment above me. A couple of my moms drug addict friends were living with us at the time and their four year old son Jimmy had really long hair. I was out on the patio with the kids when I heard a female voice from the balcony speak to Jimmy...

"Hi little girl, what's your name?"

Jimmy replied "It's Jimmy"

The girl said "Did you say Jenny?"

By this time I thought the girl was dumb because even though he had long hair, he was still obviouly a boy and he obviously did not say Jenny. So I walked out from the patio, looked up at the girl with my hands on my hips and in a snotty voice exclaimed "He is a BOY and his name is JIMMY"

Alison and I did not become friends right away. We had many other catty girls attempt to get us to not be friends and Alison even accused me of "touching" her at a slumber party once (I totally did not, sorry hunny I don't swing that way) But by the end of that year we were inseperable.

We have lost track of eachother on and off throughout the years since both of our families moved around a lot. But we have always went out of our way to look for eachother again.

Now Alison is my boss and she must love me if she actually agreed to have me as an employee. Alison once told me that we are platonic soul mates and I think that is true because she is the only person I can be around for long periods of time without begining to ponder the need to carry a concealed weapon.

So Alison I dedicate this post to you and here is to another 20 years of friendship!