Office Contract Workers and The Concept Of Hegemony.

A major topic within many American communities now days is the topic of Health Care. I feel we are focusing way too much on the broad aspect on health care and I am wondering if our politicians are looking into why so many working adults do not have health care. There are a variety of reasons, some considered valid and some considered wrong (subjective of course) but there is one business practice that I feel is one of the wrong reasons; that is the practice of large lucrative companies that hire long term contract employees (basically permanent temps.

There is no doubt that the reason for this practice is to avoid paying for benefits (such as health care) or sick pay and can save a company thousands of dollars. This may be fine for smaller companies that could not afford to lose so much; but what about the larger companies whose CEO's are bringing in record profits of multi-million dollars? The argument largely relies on the idea of consent. Most managers will remind you that you agreed to this and they may even deliver you the infamous line of "If you don't like it here, then go work somewhere else."

However as I normally believe that nothing in this world is that simple and here is something to think about. That is the idea of hegemony. The dictionary defines hegemony as simply influence or authority over others, however hegemony mainly means domination or slavery by consent. The slaves or people being dominated consent to being enslaved because they know that their choices are limited.

So as far as office contract workers go, they agree to the contract because their choices are limited; especially in this economy, one most likely does not have the resources to drop everything and find another job. These companies know this and use this to hire contract employees without paying them benefits. Of course now days people every where who are employed should be thankful to have a job; but I still feel it is wrong for companies to take advantage of the average worker in this fashion.

Tiffannies Tips for the Moderate Voter

On Tuesday November 2nd, we will be voting for our governors, senators, representatives and other branches of local government. Why should we vote in the mid-term elections? Because the people up for office in the mid-term elections affect our daily lives way more than the president ever will. As our country becomes more polarized by the empty kettle Democrats and Republicans, it can be difficult for the dedicated moderates to keep from choosing sides and staying neutral. Here are a few things I practice and keep in mind to stay level headed and to try and vote responsibly.

Tip #1Know your values

Before figuring out who you want to vote for you first need to think of which political issues are most important to you and which don't seem like that big of a deal to you. Knowing where you stand on issues and the ones that are important to you are especially critical for a moderate who may agree with one issue on the candidates platform but disagree on another issue with the same candidate.

Tip #2:Vote for people, not parties.

I realize this is easier said than done, however if you look at each candidate individually you will find that not every candidate agrees with their party on every single issue. Also, each Candidate has a back story which can help you identify where they are coming from and how they came to be where they are today.

Tip #3:Do your research
Of course looking for the right candidate shouldn't feel like studying for a mid-term exam (no pun intended), but there are little things you can do in your spare time to educate yourself on your candidates. I personally find reading the candidates platforms and backgrounds on their personal website helpful. If you are able to talk to some of your candidates personally just to get a feel for them. Also watching interviews and debates can also be helpful to figure out where your candidates stand.

Tip #4:Ignore Political Commercials

TV commercials are the worst place to get information on the running candidates. Even the commercials that aren't all about slandering the other candidate tend to be exaggerated and lacking of crucial information. If possible, go as far as to walk away from the TV or at least press the mute button when these commercials are on because even looking at them can slightly askew your view. Also another thing to keep in mind, not all of these commercials are endorsed by a candidate; various lobby and interest groups also create TV commercials.

Tip #5:Disregard political buzzwords

Just because your so-called friend may call you a fascist for leaning a little to the conservative side or a bleeding heart, socialist, communist Marxist for leaning towards the liberal side doesn't mean you should take it to heart or even take it as an insult. These are emotionally charged buzzwords to make you feel guilty for being who you are. Many people who use these words may not even know what they really mean. Think about it, how many of your acquaintances that use the term "Marxist" have ever read Karl Marx? Probably not many. I find that most people who use this vocab on a regular basis are less interested in politics and more like drama or like to fight and find that politics are an easy outlet for that. A level headed Conservative, Liberal or Moderate will not use insults and know how to agree to disagree.

Tip #6:It's OKAY to vote for Independent candidates

My biggest political pet peeve (other than the name calling) is when someone tells me that if I vote for the Independent candidate, then I am wasting my vote. It is true that they are less likely to win, however one of the main reasons why that is true is because people have been told they are wasting their vote if they vote for independents. By all means, if both the major party candidates seem like pawns and you actually like an Independent candidate, take a stand and give them your vote. Maybe then more people will take a stand and vote for who they want and not who they are told to vote for.

Despite popular belief that Moderates are indecisive and flaky, we know the truth. We want level headed solutions and we want to take the good ideas from both of our nations political sides to make something even better. We realize that opinions are subjective and we try our best to respect the opinions that differ from our own. I feel that we need to be just as present in the voting booths as our party member counterparts.

Pop Music

I like to watch rock music videos on youtube and I admit, I also like reading the comments that people post on these videos. Even though most of the comments are left by empty kettles, I really do believe it shows how we sometimes live inside of our own little boxes and fail to respect and understand the likes and dislikes of other.

In particular I keep seeing the "metal militia" and the "Rock Nation" calling for rock fans to post insults on various pop stars( i.e. Justin Beiber) videos on certain dates. I fail to understand what this accomplishes. For generations there has been some sort of pop scene and I am pretty sure there will be for many more generations; and you know, that is alright by me. People should be able to like what they want to like when it comes to music.

Bashing another for their taste in music is another form of unjust intolerance in my opinion. Difference in musical tastes is one of the great things that makes us all unique.

The Lost Art of Friendly Disagreement.

It is a firm belief of mine that as Americans (I can't speak for the rest of the world) we are becoming more divided. I am not focusing on politics, just in general. One thing that makes me believe this is that it seems like for the most part, people try to avoid any kind of conflict. I think that many people have been lead to believe that conflict is for people who don't like each other. So when many of us disagree with our acquaintances, we tend to hold it inside and let it stew. I believe this has helped us become somewhat of a passive aggressive nation, which helps to divide people more because by the time a person does come out with what they are upset about (usually after making many semi-direct snide comments), the disagreement is worse than the original.

Occasional conflict (friendly fire) can be essential to maintaining a friendship or acquaintanceship. If one keeps their comments neutral while reassuring the other person that disagreeing with them doesn't mean they don't like them, friendly conflict can help a relationship grow by establishing openness, honesty and trust. I see avoidance tactics by people which includes ignoring comments and trying to change the subject; and personally, if they disagree with me or think I am saying something stupid, I would rather them tell me than keep quiet. People may think they are keeping things to themselves when avoiding uncomfortable disagreements, but often times they are showing some signs of the disagreement in their facial expressions and body language and often times, remaining silent can be a bigger snub than just saying something.

So in my opinion, it is better to just go ahead and disagree. If you are prone to spouting angry nonsense when disagreeing, just choose words carefully or take a breather before you say something. But don't let it sit and potentially grow into something bigger.

Finding My Identity

I have been kind of on a down spiral lately, just kind of bored with life at the moment. I am usually, not a positive person but a person that believes that things work themselves out in the end so I am sure it will pass but for now as of lately I just feel as if I am not going anywhere and I am not growing as a person. I kind of feel as if I am hiding behind other people and have lost my own identity. In the recent past I have had a lot of people refer to me by my identities of mother or wife and I love being a mother and a wife but it would be nice to be known for my own identity as well.

I have had a few small accomplishments. I had a poem published in the book "You Are Not Alone" put together by Andrea Roe. The last stanza of the poem was even put on the back of the book.

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Alone-Companionship/dp/1412096170

I had two tarot spreads I created published in the 2005 tarot lovers calendar and one in the 2007 calendar. I have also had a story of the adult nature published in bareback magazine.

I think maybe it's because next month I am turning 30 and my clock is starting to tick why I am feeling this way. I am working on making something of myself. I am going to school and I am taking voice lessons that I hope to do something with some day. I have a bad habit of wanting immediate results and i just need to be patient.

Wish me luck.

Protecting Marriage.

I support gay marriage. Why? Because I don't see any good objective secular reason why they shouldn't be able to get married.

Today I saw this commercial and it made me sick.



Now this is what I do not understand. How are we protecting marriage by not allowing homosexuals to get married? How is it even constitutional in a country where we are supposed to have freedom (particularly freedom of religion) to ban gay marriage based on religious beliefs? What does it matter to the general public what homosexuals or anyone else decides to do with their personal life?

I think straight people damage the institution of marriage enough already.

I would also like to add that I have no problem with people who are against gay marriage. If you are against it, that is your right to have that opinion. What I have a problem with is the people who want to legally force their opinion on the general population.

Misused Words: Forsaken

Sometimes I hear words over and over in certain mediums that seem to strike me. For the last few years or so I have seen/heard the word forsaken a lot and I think many times that I see or hear it, it is used in the wrong context.

Perhaps I am misinterpreting the way people are using it, but to me it seems like when people use it, they mean that they are being insulted, taken advantage of or used.

According to dictionary.com Forsaken is listed as:


–verb
1.
pp. of forsake.

–adjective
2.
deserted; abandoned; forlorn: an old, forsaken farmhouse.

So, I suppose if you are being insulted or taken advantage of, it may feel like you are being forsaken but technically the word means abandoned or deserted; "left behind" if you will.

Any thoughts?

Maybe I'm just bitter.

I realize that we are all limited by what we have experienced but I really wish some of these youngins at my school would get some experience already and come out from mommy and daddy's wings. I mean, I hear them whine about how mommy and/or daddy won't give them a ride somewhere or won't borrow them the car and what not. Here I am thinking 'Hell, sometimes I am lucky if my old rusty car will make it to school and I have had to skip school because I didn't have the gas money to get there.'

In my writing class the kids wanted to watch youtube videos the entire class period. The classes cost what...$160 a credit? I'd like to actually get something for that! I can watch youtube at home!

I'm not mad at the kids, it's not their fault. I just hope that when my kids are college age I have given them the skills and encouragement to have their own car and their own life. I think that with the fact that we are working poor and don't have the resources to hand life to them on a silver platter will definately help with that.

"It's who you know, Not what you know"

One of the last things we talked about in my Interpersonal Communications class was Networking and I will admit the conversation kind of disgusted me. Basically the job market is "who you know, not what you know." I always knew this, at least to a certain extent. But one kid said he got a job simply because he liked the Green Bay Packers. There was no interview...nothing. The boss asked who his favorite player was and then said he got the job.

That is not really what annoyed me. The thing that bothered me was when I said "That's awful" my teacher said "That's just how it is"

So is this how our society works? Something is wrong, we know it's wrong but we still support it for our own selfish needs and desires? Is the whole world like this or just America?

I have no problem with using your friends and family to get a job (or hiring family or friends) if you truly know the field and would truly contribute something to that job market. For example, I work with developmentally disabled adults and my best friend is my boss. However I have worked with DD people before and I have skills that do well for that field.

Anyways, so why do we even go to college? Maybe we should all just take classes on how to kiss ass and give favors!

To all my large sistas and brothas...this blog is for you!

I am a fat girl. On one of my interpersonal communication journals I pointed that out, my teacher crossed it out and wrote "large mammal". Well I am sorry, I don't need to sugar coat things like that, I am what I am.

Of course I hear a lot of derogatory names, jokes, etc aimed at fat people and normally I don't get offended, but every once in awhile something happens where I do get offended and today in my creative writing class was one of those days.

Our teacher showed us the video "Window Seat" by Erykah Badu
where Erykah removes all her clothing on a public street. Our teacher pointed out that he likes the fact that Erykah is a real woman with a voluptuous back and and womanly hips. Suddenly people began to disagree with him saying they could see her "fat rolls" jiggling and it was gross. Afterwards we were looking at the people of wal-mart website and of course the same people would make comments every time a picture of a fat person was displayed, even if they weren't wearing anything too atrocious.

I think I was offended because first of all, Erykah Badu is thick surely but not fat and I feel that if people think she is disgusting then what does that say about me? Secondly, it seems to me that unless a fat person is covered completly from head to toe in long pants and sweaters, then people disapprove of us being in public. Granted some of these people on the people of wal-mart website were wearing clothes that NO ONE should be wearing inside of a public store, some of the pics simply showed girls wearing a tank top. Im sorry people, but when it's hot out, hell yeah I am going to wear a tank top. I don't really care if you find my fat arms disgusting.

In class I made some joking comments about how I was going to wear something risque to the next class and acted of course like I was not that offended because I didn't want to seem like I am uncool or overly sensitive (even though I totally am).

Coincidentally, after school I went to my jobs main office to attend a harassment and diversity class that is required for us to take annually. After this class I realized that I was not too off base for feeling offended. Now I will be one of the first ones to say that some people get too offended by things and take things to extremes to resolve. I have no problems with people not being attracted to fat people and having that opinion is fine, but I think that making extensive comments about how disgusting fat people are is crossing the line.

I think that overweight people are a group of people that many people in our society have been taught that it's ok to make fun of because we made ourselves that way and because we are not aesthetically pleasing on the eye. I admit that I did things to make myself that way but I did not wake up one day and decide I was going to be fat. I have a food addiction, and like any addiction I take it one day at a time. Until I am able to fully manage my addiction and become healthy again, I still have the right to fashionable clothes, going to the beach or pool in my swimsuit and being out in public without being harassed.

If having to look at my fatness is ruining your perfect day in your perfect world you have two choices; look the other way or kiss my big fat juicy ass!

I Am Socially Inept

I am awkward around people which I feel damages any would be friendships with new people that I meet. This especially happens at all the local music shows that I attend. I can never seem to think of anything to talk about and I just end up feeling like a dumbass and an outcast. I also think some of it has to do with feeling like I am in my husbands shadow which is probably a whole different blog!

So to all those who see me at shows and just out and about, if I have made you feel wierd about being around me I am sorry. I definatly would like to get to know you all better but have a hard doing so. People being pushy with me about talking or doing stuff would probably help out a lot.

Tired of the empty kettles.

Once I heard someone say that it is always the empty kettles that bang the loudest; meaning that it's always the people that have no clue what they are talking about that people seem to hear the most. One of the places this seems to happen the most is when people discuss politics. It seems to me that more and more people are choosing sides, confusing opinions with facts and carrying a "you're either with me or against me" attitude. As a moderate, this is really sad to me. I have lost friends on both sides of the spectrum because of this and I see our country becoming divided more and more everyday and it breaks my heart. In many of these cases, people are not even fighting about the issues, it's mindless "Conservatives are nazi's and they suck" or "Liberals are bleeding heart douchebags" and there is no rhyme or reason to any of this. I think both conservatives and liberal groups have good ideas and contribute to this country and I don't think we could make it without either side.

Granted I know this isn't true for all left and right wingers. I completly respect the conservatives and liberals that can state their opinion and listen to opposing opinions without resorting to name calling and fighting. However from what I am experiencing, these sensible people are becoming less heard because of the empty kettles.

No matter what your political affiliation is, we all still live in this country together and I feel that if we keep dividing ourselves, we will destroy ourselves long before any terrorists or outsiders do.

"Help Mate"

One of my favorite shows currently is the show wife swap (and no I am not ashamed of it). The premise of this show is that they take 2 families and trade the wives (and sometimes the husbands) for two weeks. Each wife writes a manual for the new wife and the first week the wife has to follow the rules of the manual. During the second week the wife gets to make her own rules. The idea is to switch two completly different families so that each families learn something from the experience (or create a lot of drama which is good for TV).

So from watching this show, I have witnessed an idea that is very new and bewildering to me. Some of the freaky religious families (excuse my persuasive language) believe in this idea where the man is the supreme head of the household and the wife is his "help mate". Now of course the concept of the patriarchal family system isn't new or bewildering to me, it's the word "help mate" that turns me into a fem-nazi until the end of the show.

When I think of a "help mate" the last thing that comes to mind is a wife. I think of a maid, a servant, or a slave. Someone who is meant to help the man, not neccesarily for him to love and to share equality with. Seriously ladies, did our mothers and grandmothers fight for womens rights and burn their bras to be a mans "help mate". No, I don't think so.

Because Alison Told Me Too

My best friend Alison said my next blog should be about how much she loves me. So here we go!

Alison and I met in the summertime when we were ten years old. I lived on the ground floor apartment (complete with patio) and she lived in the apartment above me. A couple of my moms drug addict friends were living with us at the time and their four year old son Jimmy had really long hair. I was out on the patio with the kids when I heard a female voice from the balcony speak to Jimmy...

"Hi little girl, what's your name?"

Jimmy replied "It's Jimmy"

The girl said "Did you say Jenny?"

By this time I thought the girl was dumb because even though he had long hair, he was still obviouly a boy and he obviously did not say Jenny. So I walked out from the patio, looked up at the girl with my hands on my hips and in a snotty voice exclaimed "He is a BOY and his name is JIMMY"

Alison and I did not become friends right away. We had many other catty girls attempt to get us to not be friends and Alison even accused me of "touching" her at a slumber party once (I totally did not, sorry hunny I don't swing that way) But by the end of that year we were inseperable.

We have lost track of eachother on and off throughout the years since both of our families moved around a lot. But we have always went out of our way to look for eachother again.

Now Alison is my boss and she must love me if she actually agreed to have me as an employee. Alison once told me that we are platonic soul mates and I think that is true because she is the only person I can be around for long periods of time without begining to ponder the need to carry a concealed weapon.

So Alison I dedicate this post to you and here is to another 20 years of friendship!

It's hard being a moderate

I am a moderate; not just politically but in most areas of my life, and it seems to prevent me from making too many friends. I feel that many people that surround me are too ingrained in one thing or another and I like to dabble a little in both sides and fail to understand the idea of being one way all the time.

For example, I like to party as much as the next individual. It's fun to have a few drinks and let loose. However usually I do it once, get a really bad hangover and don't want to do it again for six months. I also enjoy more refined activities like sitting in a cafe and drinking a latte or dining at a fine restaurant. However the overly artsy folks at many cafes I can only handle in moderation and the prices at the restaurants make me feel like I am draining my finances for one meal. So again, I don't like to do them all the time.

So this results in my bar hopping friends thinking that I have the idea that I am better than everyone because I don't drink a lot. On the other hand my more refined friends think I am kind of trashy. I just can't win either way.

And this is all BEFORE we get on the topic of politics!!!